What is More Important - Success or Happiness?

Boryana often tells me I'm successful, but unable to fully enjoy life.

So I started asking myself a question: am I actually a happy person? And if I had to choose, what would I choose - happiness or success?

A few days ago, I listened to a conversation with Arthur Brooks, a Harvard professor who studies happiness and leadership. These are his findings on happiness.

Happiness Is Not a Destination

There's no point where you arrive and say: "That's it, I'm happy now." We tell ourselves stories like: when I reach X, I'll relax or when I finish Y, I'll enjoy life. Then X and Y happen, and after a short high, we're back where we started.

You can't be happy (as a permanent state). But you can be generally happier if you first understand what happiness actually is.

Happiness Is Not a Feeling

I always treated happiness as something you feel when things go well. Something that appears once problems are solved. And that's wrong.

Feelings don't last. If happiness depended on feeling good all the time, nobody would ever be happy. Life doesn't work like that.

So, technically happy feelings are not happiness; they are evidence of happiness. Just as taste is the experience derived from consuming dinner, happy feelings are presented as evidence or symptoms of an underlying state of happiness, rather than the state itself. And happiness is defined as a combination of three "macronutrients," which you need in balance and abundance in your life: enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose.

1. Enjoyment

One important distinction Brooks makes is between pleasure and enjoyment.

Pleasure is easy. Food. Screens. Dopamine. Pleasure is something you do alone.

Enjoyment is richer. It usually involves other people - and it often turns into a memory.

A good coffee alone is pleasant. The same coffee with a friend, a long conversation, and something you'll remember later - that's enjoyment.

When I think about moments that actually mattered to me, they're rarely about comfort. They're about shared experiences. Conversations. Being fully present.

Pleasure fades quickly. Memories don't.

-> So, enjoyment is a pleasure, shared with others, and remembered later.

2. Satisfaction

Satisfaction, on the other hand, is about effort and growth. Satisfaction requires struggle.

We like to think we want easy lives, but when everything is easy, life feels empty. There's no pride in things that cost you nothing. Paradoxically, happiness emerges from suffering.

But satisfaction isn't only about what you have, but also about how much you want. You can have more than ever and still feel dissatisfied if your desires keep growing.

As the Dalai Lama put it: happiness is wanting what you have, not having what you want.

-> So, satisfaction is fulfilling growth after some pain.

3. Meaning

Enjoyment and satisfaction help, but without meaning, everything feels temporary.

Meaning comes from a few things: your life makes sense to you, you know what you stand for, and your life matters beyond yourself.

Arthur Brooks suggests two uncomfortable questions: Why are you alive? What would you die for?

Examples: I'm alive to raise my children well. To build something that outlasts me. To help others when I can. Or: I would die for my family. For my principles. For protecting someone who can't protect themselves. For my country.

If you don't have answers, that's normal. Most people don't. But avoiding the questions doesn't help.

Meaning doesn't come from scrolling or productivity hacks. It comes from thinking seriously about values, about right and wrong, about what you refuse to compromise on. Good books help. Silence helps.

-> So, meaning is knowing who you are, why you matter. And acting in accordance with your values.

Happiness Is Contagious

One last thing, especially if you lead people: your emotional state leaks. Whether you want it or not.

We've all felt it - the boss walks in irritated, and suddenly the whole room feels heavy. Nothing was said, but everything changed.

Leadership isn't only about actions. It's also about controlling your thoughts. If you don't, they end up controlling everyone else.

Happiness spreads. Negativity spreads faster.

Am I a Happy Person?

It turns out I am. Because I usually do find meaning in my work. And my previous successes bring me satisfaction.

However, I could be happier if I start doing two things:

• Find more enjoyment in my daily life (share experiences with others).
• Be more humble (acknowledge my limitations when setting goals).

So, I'm aware now that success and happiness are not mutually exclusive. Actually, success (satisfaction) is part of the happiness equation, but it's quite not enough.

Because happiness isn't something you earn once and keep forever. It's something you maintain, adjust, and sometimes rebuild.